Vancouver School of Arts and Academics Diploma Earns Hookers and Peyote

Vancouver School of Arts and Academics Still has No Drop-outs! Phew

Spencer Graduates from Vancouver School of Arts and Academics by the Hair of his Chinny Chin Chin

I received a thank you note from my little brother, Spencer, in the mail yesterday. He wanted to assure me the cash he received from Craig and I for graduation would be well spent on peyote and hookers. Despite his behavior his senior year at the Vancouver School of Arts and Academics and wanting to strangle him at least a dozen times, his card made me smile.

Almost as much as this moment. Yes, that is me in the background.

I am not sure if we, his family, were more excited to see him graduate or if the administrators of the Vancouver School of Arts and Academics were more relieved to see him go.  In the 15 year history of the school there has never been a drop-out or a student quite like Spencer.

Rocky Start to Education Before Vancouver School of Arts and Academics

Spencer’s school career started out rocky.  He was kicked off the school bus in early elementary school after being accused of touching a girl’s boob.  He claims he was pointing to the flower on her shirt.  As the kid came out of the womb singing show tunes and out of the closet at 15, I’m pretty sure he was aiming for the flower.

Also, first graders don’t have boobs.  His expulsion for spelling f-u-c-k on the playground, however, is on him – and possibly my fault.

Sensing the boob touching sexual harasser might fare better in a different school environment, my parents bought a second house near the Vancouver School of Arts and Academics so he could attend.  They never even bought me a dog.  Whatever.

He was involved with musical theater and choir his first several years and really seemed to be in his element.  At this school, the kid that learned the Napoleon Dynamite dance for funsies would be celebrated, not ridiculed.  If he told someone he was a wizard, they would challenge him to a game of quidditch.

Vancouver School of Arts and Academics Got Tired of his Shit, Too

The last couple years of Spencer’s education were rough. He was an administrator’s worst nightmare. Compounded with his health problems, Spencer was very lucky to be given a pass his senior year. As much grief as my darling kid brother has been responsible for, I still couldn’t help but feel really happy for him during his graduation ceremony – because he was happy.

In the moment I was glad my parents saved the money on dog food years ago so they could coddle their favorite child.  As rough as his last few years of school were, I don’t believe we would have been celebrating a graduation if he had attended a school other than the Vancouver School of Arts and Academics – even if my kids will have to pretend that they don’t know him to have a chance of getting in. Thank God for different last names.

I do know he is extremely lucky to find a 4 year university willing to work with him; so what if it is a hippie school with a clothing optional policy.  If he can just get through one more summer at home, I hear successful propagation of the peyote cacti will earn a humanities credit.

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Poppy

Poppy is a runner, writer, and mother of 3 children ranging in ages from 5 to 14. By day she's shuttling teenagers to the mall or someone to a birthday party in between Costco trips. She may not have had a pedicure in 5 years, but she still makes time for moms night out, girls nights in, or local PDX events with good friends. Recovery from fun nights out include a healthy lifestyle of marathon training, triathlon training, and lean eating. Parenthood can be messy, but Poppy always manages to find the funny under the snot.

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