Hank Found a Friend In Jesus. Thank God.
Hank has made a new friend. His name is Jesus. Mostly I approve of the relationship, though Jesus and I have squared off a few times. This is Hank’s second year in the Lutheran preschool down the road from our house. He still can’t tell his ass from his elbow or an A from B, but he does know Jesus lives in his heart.
This month in the spirit of Thanksgiving the preschool is holding a canned food drive. The children are asked to bring non perishables from home. Rather than just donating directly, the children are tasked with “earning” the food by doing extra chores around the home. Perhaps other 4 year old children are more advanced than my 4 year old because Hank isn’t wrapping his pretty little head around the concept no matter how many times I explain it to him.
This video was actually edited down from 5 minutes and may only be funny to me so it won’t hurt my feelings if you don’t watch it, but holy shit is this kid screwing with me or what? I blame Jesus.
Right now, there are only three items in Hank’s giving bag. He keeps pulling out what he doesn’t think Jesus would care for, like raisins.
While we are on the topic, I have another bone to pick with Jesus. Hank has never been modest. On any given day, if you stop by our home, Hank will be in his underwear. So when he got out of the shower and was covering his bottom with one hand and his penis with the other, I was taken aback. He was scooting backwards towards his room with a sly smile when I initiated the following conversation.
Me: What are you doing?
Hank : I don’t want you to look at me.
Me: (Laughing) I made that junk.
Hank: (As serious as can be) NO, Jesus did.
I was fairly confident Jesus wasn’t going to assist Hank in buttoning his pants so I threw his underwear at him and tried not to laugh. As funny as that exchange struck me, I’m not worried that Jesus is usurping my position in Hank’s life. I did, however, confirm the youth pastor at the church was not named Jesus.
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