Hank is a Ladies Man
I never pegged his dad for being a player either. Craig always seemed available for those late night booty calls, so it surprised me to find out I wasn’t the only show in town. I must have at least had priority seating. On our recent trip to Disneyland, Hank showed signs of following in his father’s unassuming footsteps. Even the Disney Princesses at Disneyland didn’t escape Hank’s charms.
I’m afraid I have a little Bieber on my hands. He’s just tone deaf and probably weighs a little more.
How I draw this conclusion is objective, not oedipal. Hank’s behavior during our vacation to sunny Southern California. He bagged two princesses, serenaded a much younger woman, and gave me a golden shower.
Singing to a Little Lady – Like he Was a Tramp
When we were waiting in line for our rental car, a forward little girl in Suri Cruise kitten heels put the moves on him. He played hard to get. She sashayed her little self over to the tourist brochures and picked herself out the map to Mickey D’s and handed it to Hank. Hank does not frequent the golden arches so his sister had to tell him it was for Mcdondalds. He then proceeded to steal her heart by belting out “Old Macdonald had a Farm.” Glee style. Then she kept following him after that prompting him to tell her, “you’re not that special.”
Next, we waited in line for days at the Princess Laire to do a meet and greet with the Disney Princesses at Maren’s request. Hank was along for the ride and one of only a few boys stuck in the line with their sisters. As a parent of a 6 year old girl, I highly recommend this attraction. The line is long, but the princesses give each child individual attention which makes for a very special experience. Hank seemed disinterested, but turned on the charm once inside. I’m pretty sure he got to 2nd base with Arial and was in the middle of a Belle and Tiana sandwich.
The Golden Shower
It has been well documented within this blog, that Hank still wears GoodNites at night. What I have never praised him for in this space is that he has never had an accident during the day since he has been potty trained. Until, of course, our trip to Disneyland in which he wet his pants twice. You would think I would, after the first accident, pack a change of clothes with us during the day in case it happened again, but I did not. So I guess some of Hank’s superior IQ could come from me.
Prior to his second accident, he told me he had to use the bathroom. Not knowing where the closest restroom was exactly, I picked him up thinking I would run there quickly. He then told me he didn’t have to go anymore. This didn’t really make sense to me until I felt my side warm and wet. I realized that he no longer had to go because he already went.
I don’t want to be the kind of mother in law that Hank’s future spouse hates, but I think I may be. If he keeps up with his Mac Daddy ways, he may trick someone eventually. Yesterday alone, I caught him sucking the water out of the kitchen sponge, eating lotion from the container, and wearing his sister’s underwear proudly. Oh, and he is a complete Mama’s Boy. So if he finds himself a woman or life partner willing to devote themselves to him, I may become very protective and try to figure out what’s in it for them. Shower anyone?
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