If you have 30 seconds and a mute button, can you watch my video again to support my quest for the Vancouver USA Marathon sponsorship from the fine folks at TRX? I’ll stop bugging you eventually, I’d just really like to get 1000 views.
I may have promised to raffle a coffee cup featuring my fine ass on Twitter. I know there might be a fight breaking out over that prize, but watch the video anyway. I’d do it for you.
Dry January
I’m giving up alcohol and participating in Dry January. I thought I would wait two weeks into the new year before making such a bold public declaration. Nothing like crashing and burning with an audience.
I’m reasonably sure I’m going to make it now because I’m only giving it up for a month. You know, just to test the “I can quit anytime theory.” I’d miss blacking out and waking up in dog urine too much to give it up entirely. Also Rehab around these parts looks nothing like Betty Ford or Promises and I’m not sharing a room with a girl named Bubba. A few weeks away means no dishes and NO blow jobs.
Dry January was proposed by Kristin over at Peace, Love, and Muesli. For as much damage as I have done to my liver over the years, I treat the rest of my body pretty well. I am interested in fueling my body properly as well as exercise. I like to learn new things and be in the know about trends in nutrition and Kristin does the legwork for me. This dry January business was all her idea and at the time I was reading it, I was most likely hungover. Of course it seemed like an excellent idea. If I’m not as much fun this month, blame her.
Kidding aside, I don’t drink often. When I do drink, I *may* drink too much. After too many holiday parties and calories, I thought it would be an easy way to eliminate extra calories and I love a good challenge. You did see this picture of my ass, right?
In defense of my ass, it is trapped in a pair of my 12 year old daughter’s pants. I work out at 05:30 every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday with my neighbor Heather. On this particular morning I overslept and was rushing to throw clothes on and mistakenly grabbed my daughters XXS pants. I didn’t notice until I got under the bright lights of my home gym and the unforgiving full length mirrors. Let’s just say the view from the back was a helluva lot better than the view from the front.
That camel needed a mani and a pedi.
Wish me luck on my next two weeks of sobriety, I’m reasonably sure I will make it. My strategy is going to be to blog about my best hangovers to remind myself of the sheer number of times I have vowed to “never drink again”. I’m sure I have enough stories to fill the next few weeks.
Stay tuned. Unless of course Charlie Sheen gives me a call.
Poppy
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that is one hot ass! and are you nuts? no booze? But since it's almost mid-month, I think you can do it.
Poppy- I can't tell a lie. I cheated. I shared a beer last night with Ken. It hurt me. A lot. But it's behind me now and I'm #dryjanuary from here on. Pinky promise.
Thanks for the love and the links friend.
i committed to kristin's thing too. I had hot chocolate with schnapps tonight, and 1 glass of wine the other night. But hey, that's better than it could be.
Good luck over the next 2 weeks!
Really, and what fun is that? Not drinking, not hung over, not waking up in doggie urine, or doing it doggie style as the case may be. For me, it's all about moderation. Need to loose weight? Drink more, eat less…that's my motto and I'm sticking to it…
If the leader of the pack cheated with a beer, then all bets are off! Good luck to you and your ass!
Frankly, watching your kids use for a jungle gym NEVER gets old.
And so better you than me.
I went a week without alcohol last week. It felt good but I was sooo looking forward to my Mimosa Saturday the next week!
Wow @ the camel statement. I'm just glad I wasn't there to see you use the Yes/No machines. You know? I know think they're called hip abductors or something like that. Basically, one you squeeze your legs open (YES) and the other you squeeze your legs closed (NO).
I'm in on dry January too. I actually REALLY don't miss being hungover.
Fack, I can't even come up with anything witty because those spandex say it all. Like are you wearing sponge Bob underwear under those things? Why are they so yellow? And why do I have a strong urge to run up behind you and spank your ass? Was that just creepy? I hope you win the TRX.
"That camel needed a mani and a pedi."
Friend that may be just about the damn funniest quote EVER to grace blogdom. What? I've said something like that to you before? Well trust me, this was GENIUS! Thank you for making me literally burst out laughing, and then crying.
Oh and way to go on the dry january. I'm proud of you. I've done it with NO SUGAR for 6 weeks, it's hard.
If I had to, I could give up alcohol. Sugar? SUGAR! sugar? SUGAR??? No effing way.
Ya, they're not spandex. That says it all.
It looks like the 2 of us are the only ones still in it. Everyone else, including our leader *ahem*, has bagged out.
Obviously I'm more of a yes girl than a no girl. I'm dripping with children.
Enjoy it for me!
I just realized that each time you say, "foooorget it!" I think you're gonna say: fuuuck you. yeah I have issues.
Oh Poppy, you make me laugh. Thanks for visiting my blog and if I hadn't already figured it out, your comments let me know I'd found a kindred soul. Looking forward to hearing more of your stories, especially what you do with your TRX winnings. I love Chelsea Handler. I've gotten a lot of information from her, too. In fact, I credit her with my love of midgets. OK, I've crossed the line and it is time to go home now.
Oh, Poppy, I've missed you and your ass. The fact that you can fit into XXS is bragging rights.
Also, when I read "Dry January" and "giving up drinking" I was seriously concerned for you for 3.5 seconds. And then I realized you'd be drinking by February. Whew.
Wait. Did I read "marathon?" Holy shit, girl. Have you been eating too many organic, whole grain health bars?
-I treat the rest of my body pretty well.
-I am interested in fueling my body properly as well as exercise.
-I like to learn new things and be in the know about trends in nutrition
….this post reads like a personal's add…I'll date ya! I love your ass in a 12 year old's pants! xoxoxo
I wanna put a big fat kiss on that big, wait…
on that ASS!
You must win. If you don't I'm certainly writing a letter to the higher ups.
You are amazingly funny. And I love Kristin but why does she have to be so sadistic??
good luck!! i have a TRX… actually, i won it at a fitness expo by doing 40 push-up/knee tucks and 40 rows. one of the hardest things i've ever done. not bragging… gosh, that sounded really rude… GOOD LUCK!!
I had no idea you were hiding those muscles underneath your derby hat. Were you suspended in the TRX while you were doing it? That is hard core! I love my TRX and I use it a few times a week to mix it up. I did a goofy video because I knew I couldn't compete with the "real" athletes I figured would submit for the sponsorship. I just thought I'd throw my video in for fun and see what happened. Thanks for watching.
Good luck on your marathon training and giving up the booze! I am right there with you…..running and super pissed that my husband is enjoying a glass of wine right now in front of me. This extra calorie theory better be worth it!