Salmon Fest Games
in the Salmonfest 2010 Buoy Toss
which is almost as cool as doing well in the Girlfriend and Dude’s Triathlon I only kind of sort of trained for. On Sunday I swam a half mile, I biked 12.5 miles, and I ran 3.1 miles after carbo loading with beer, salmon, and general merriment on Saturday. I couldn’t miss a good party.
I was a woman with a plan on Saturday. I was going to get to the party early, limit myself to 3 beers, and leave by 10. I even brought my very own Salmonfest mug from 2009 that was given out as prize in the Salmonfest games. I must confess that the only game I won last year was, “steal the Salmonfest mug after the hostess passed out”. Yes, friends it is that kind of party.
Salmonfest is the kind of party that if you pass out or “take a 5 minute power nap” you will probably get something phallic drawn on your face. It is a throw back to those wild parties of yesteryear in which children are discouraged because the hosts don’t want to be responsible for what they will see or hear. One of my favorite Salmonfest fables is when my good friend retrieved her children from her folks the morning after. I’m not sure if she was unaware of the penis drawn on her face with sharpie or if she was unable to get it off completely, but her daughter was very upset when she spotted it and yelled, “no fair, they had face painting!”
Armed with my mug, I was happily nursing my beer and staying far away from the nuclear punch and being sure to keep hydrated with plenty of water. Craig and I participated in Salmonfest games and we each came in first for the Men and Women’s Buoy Toss. We didn’t fare so well when we partnered up for the net pull. Mainly because I was laughing my ass off while I let him do all the work. Hmmm, sounds like date night. I should have started making the grocery list.
Everything was going swimmingly until they announced the winners of the games and handed out the prizes. Don’t get me wrong, I was happy to have a Salmonfest mug that was earned and not stolen, but lets compare, shall we?
I really couldn’t anticipate my drinking mug tripling in size so I adapted and had half glasses, but I lost count and probably filled it 6 times anyway which is where it all starts to get fuzzy.
Craig was having so much fun that I couldn’t possibly tear him away early and trust me this is the most action he has had in weeks. I have no problem with him engaging in this type of behavior. Less work for me later.
We got there early because we intended to leave early, but we were threatened by the host that we would not get an invitation next year if we didn’t stay until the big surprise after 11. We suffered through the awesome feast, great live band, funny as hell awards ceremony, and fireworks display for the grand finale which was well worth losing a little sleep over.
I’m not sure if I was too tipsy or it was too dark, but I didn’t get a decent picture of the fire dancers which is really a shame because they were incredible.
I don’t have an accurate score card, but I would say I probably had 60 ounces of beer over the course of 9 hours and 5 hours of sleep before my race. It could have been better, but it could have been much worse.
In good news, I didn’t drown. In other news, my triathlon time sucked ass compared to last year. The triathlon didn’t go as well as I had hoped, but really that didn’t have much to do with the party the day before. I just haven’t put the hours into training I should. I was 6 minutes slower this year than last year and most of that was in the run which is what I usually do well in so that is a little disappointing. The lesson learned here is that I have 362 days to train for next year and redeem myself.
Screw the triathlon. Not only do I intend to sweep Salmonfest games 2011 and take home the trophy, I am already practicing my free hand penis drawing skills because I’m going to be the last man standing. Power nappers watch your backs.
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